My Vegetarian Snake

August 26, 2006 - Saturday



Current mood: bored
Category: Food and Restaurants

Dear Abby,

I know that what Im about to tell you isss ssssomewhat odd and unprecedented, but pleasssssse do not judge me. I need your advice.

I have been ssssso worried about thisssss, that I havent had an appetite for weeksssss now. In fact, I have a feeling that my worry is harming me physssssically, in that, I am sure that I am becoming thinner. You sssssee, I think I may have to become vegetarian. I jusssst cant do it any longer! I feel like a murderer! A MURDERER! Ssssee how sssserious thissss isssss?? I can feel the vibrationsssss on my door as itssss being opened, and I know that dinner hasssss arrived, but have you sssssseeen how cute they are?? Oh man! Sssssso ssssoft and cuddly! I jusssst want to sssqueeze them..AAAHH! I mean no, NO! I dont want to ssssqueeze themdid you hear what I just ssssaid? Oh, Im sssso asssshamed! I ssssqeezed for the lassssst time! Never again!

I wonder if I could keep the next one asssss my pet? Oh wait. I probably sssshouldnt. Mother hassss alwayssssed advised ussss to not play with our food.

Please help.

~Snake

____________________________________________________________

So, that would be interesting. I hate dropping a little mouse into Snake's cage. Even though the mice poop and pee a lot in their cardboard carrying box just from the car ride, they are still so soft and cute. I don't like waiting around to watch Snake catch his dinner, because it still makes me sad every time when I hear the mouse squeek his last squeek. So I go into another room.

If Snake did become vegetarian, his poop probably wouldn't be so gross and smelly, but I'm thinking that a vegie diet may pehaps give him gas. I don't know which would be better, so I guess I'll put dreaming aside and kiss my vegetarian Snake idea goodbye!

Bye.