Honestly... Re-WRITTEN...and shorter, I Think.

August 15, 2006 - Tuesday



Category: Religion and Philosophy

Monday, July 17, 2006


Honestly...
Current mood: hungry
Category: Religion and Philosophy

Honestly, if there is no God, then where did this all begin? Even science cant disprove that someone or something had to begin the creation at some point, cuz something can not start from nothing. So as science is leaning more and more towards that the Big Bang theory is heavily flawed (so I've heard, I could be wrong) and that there had to have been a first at some point, I have heard that now some scientists are leaning away from Big Bang towards Creationism, which now brings comfort to some scientists out there cuz they no longer have to fake support for a THEORY that more than likely won't ever be proven fact cuz it disagrees with physics and all the other science stuff (Science was really hard for me in school!), but ask them about a Creator for their new Creation Idea and they tremble because they havent figured that out, and really dont want to admit that all these years theyve wasted trying to prove the Big Bang as fact (and the Christian God as false, while some non-believers use this to back up their argument as in the Christian faith is just a crutch for weak people who need something to feel better about themselves), have been pointing to a Being higher and more sophisticated than their own brains, further proving that there just might be a God that theyll have to answer to after all some day, and that even more embarrassing is that the Bible, amazingly accurate despite the skeptics trying to disprove it, has explained the beginning (as in by whom and how it was set into motion) all this time, while pointing them to a Creation concept and a Creator who was in charge of it all in the first place. Interestingly enough, God states that He is the Beginning and the End.

So sadly, SOME people that don't believe (scientists or non-scientists, lets just say unbelievers) just may continue on through their lives trying to figure out where life and all this began and why they even exist at all. They may never know that they were made with purpose in [Gods] mind, they were made un-flawed, beautiful, for [His] glory, with a PLAN for their life! Instead, they are lonely, angry, sad, confused, and no doubt, believe that they are mother nature's mistake to humanity.

Those that not only believe and love God are (should be?) happy and content (looking forward to their eternity with God) as they continue on through their days knowing full well where they came from, who made them, and are at peace about the whole thing and spend their lives focusing on loving others and serving others before themselves, continually pressing into God for His will, wisdom, peace, revelation, strength, joy, tenderness, mercy, forgiveness, truth, self-control, and patience, focusing utterly on the things of their heart (all this only, of course, if they have truly figured out what being a Christian actually means, not using it to cast judgment and hate onto others, completely missing and misusing Jesus' examples of true love for all). For from your heart, the mouth speaks, your true intentions are revealed!

***Ohooohhhhhhh, no worries! Calm down! A few people were a bit heated up about what I just said in the last paragraph, hence, why I have re-written this blog. Hopefully I can explain myself more clearly as to not upset those that might actually read this blog...again. Everything that I just said describes the WAY a follower of Christ should act, should represent God, should be focused on.. .SHOULD BE DOING every day in their lives.

So, if you are a believer, are you mad at what I just said? Are you convicted, perhaps? Maybe you wouldnt be all that mad at me if after I write this: HEY! IM JUST AS GUILTY AS YOU! IM NOT CLAIMING TO BE BETTER THAN YOU, OR THAT I AM THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF CHRIST! HECK NO! ARE YOU CRAZY!
Although, would I be rude to say that I might have a lot of it figured out? That doesnt mean that I have perfected what I have learned, but what I wrote in that paragraph says that I do have some of it figured out. Why?? CUZ, CALL IT A REVELATION FROM GOD IF YOUD LIKE, BUT GOD POINTED THIS OUT TO ME TO CONVICT ME! And probably you and you.and everyone else who hasnt figure it out. Oh, but don't think that I think that what I think is smarter or better than what you think. It's my revelation--it doesn't have to be yours. It doesn't mean that I think that I'm doing it better than you. Just so you know. :^)

Now of course I was embarrassed that God said this to me, cuz it's always embarrassing when He does things like point out your bad parts in your heart. But, I am certain that He only means to help me and grow me.

Now there is WAY more than to just having this stuff figured out. Why, maybe some of you believers reading this have heard this and have read this stuff over and over again. But did it sink in? I don't know how many times Ive heard and read this stuff before God FINALLY was able to grab my attention. So that's the first part of revelations--get it to sink in. My second part was about writing it out--others process differently. This revelation came about from thinking about the argument (that some just borrow cuz they couldnt think of anything new) that Christian faith is a crutch for weak minded people (my pastor used to believe this with all of his heart for many years). So, I tied a science theory the crutch argument how a Christian should be living (or, more specifically, how at least I am supposed to be living) and that is where I had my big mistake of not separating the all these thoughts into different blogs, carefully structuring my thoughts/heart. Instead, I hurt people, and they thought that I was saying "pooh" on science, un-believers suck, and Christians rule! Absolutely NOT.

Okay, time to address something else, because I used to think the same thing. But God changed my heart about stuff, and I felt like God Himself told me that I really didnt believe in Him afterall, and that my actions and doubting words were speaking WAY LOUDER than my heart and than my faith (that I thought I had)! Lets go back to where I wrote this: "Those that not only believe and love God are happy and content (looking forward to their eternity with God) as they continue on through their days knowing full well where they came from, who made them, and are at peace about the whole thing and spend their lives focusing on loving others ect..."

So, up until like, um.a year ago (or so) I WASNT happy, I WASNT content or looking forward to an eternity with God (whatever that means/however long that is). Day after day I knew that God made me and that I came from God as in, His idea, but I hated ME, I hated how I looked, acted; I hated who I was! I hated my body and all the pain it has brought me, I hated living cuz I WAS WORTHLESS! I felt like I was always being ignored by my friends, that I was a failure, and totally boring AND I WAS DEFINITELY NOT FOCUSING ON LOVEING OTHERS because I wasnt ever at PEACE with ANYTHING in my life! Every day I accused God of making a mistake, because He made me, and everything about me was a mistake.

How could I love others while I felt like this? I didnt. How could I have grace, tenderness, mercy, love...how could I press into God's will for my life when I hate me--hated Him for making me? I should be ashamed of calling myself a Christian--one that loves God! Falsely proclaiming that I loved God with all my heart, when I hated His very own creation [me].

And thats when I realized, I had no faith.

I wasnt confident in God. I obviously didnt believe any of His promises for my life, cuz I was way too focused on ME. Me, me me me Me ME mmmMMMEEEEE! What a waste of time. So while I was so unhappy with God and all that He has done, I was rejecting His love, kindness, mercy, grace, and forgiveness, because I wasnt paying ANY attention to Him at all.

Well, now I know that I was wrong. And now I see MANY areas in my life that have been transformed from finally having confidence and more faith in God, and from being happy and content with who He made me to be. It is so hard to say to ourselves that, I am made perfect! I am made without flaws! I am beautiful! But I need to try, because thats what God says about me, and I dont want to call Him a liar anymore, because then it would seem obvious to me that I actually dont have Faith. You either believe, or dont believe. I dont really think that there is any middle-ground. If you dont fully believe, then you doubt. And doubt means no belief. So those that need something more so that they can be absolutely sure that Jesus was who He said He was, that the universe and everything that lives and breathes was created by God, that NOTHING can or will separate them from the Love of Christ, then you had better get studying and find out what you really believe.

~James 1:5-8 5If you need wisdom--if you want to know what God wants you to do--ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. 6But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7People like that should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8They can't make up their minds. They waver back and forth in everything they do.~

So God wants us to go to Him! But we need to ask according to His plan for us--He has had a plan for each one of us since the very second He decided to create you, BEFORE your mother had even conceived you! So, if you want to learn about God's plan for you--His will for your life, than you need to ask. You must believe though.