Love Story: You’re The Main Character

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Blogging

**If you dont want to read all the ramblings and want to get to the main point, skip to The Main Point.**

**I haven't edited yet cuz I got to run errands**

So I had this thought a few days ago. It seemed to make so much sense then, but Im afraid that when Im spaced out into my world, my disconnected thoughts make perfect sense to me, mere breakthroughs, really, but the second I open my mouth, um, well, (lots of commas) turns out to be not so much of an epiphany like I had thought. Oh well.

I mean, seriously, look at the intro to this thing? Talk about rambling, but perhaps I will come out with it. Please bear (RrrOARRRR!) with me on this one.

Hmm, I need some theme music, hold on...aahhh, Copeland, sounds good. Actually I could use some Acceptance, but I havent a clue where that CD is.

So now that Im obviously an expert on marriage now (married 7 1/2months), Im starting to realize something. My husband, Josh, is a very, VERY talented guy! Wait! Thats not what Im realizing, I already knew that. I guess Im not quite to the part about defining my realization, but Ill let you know when its time. He's (josh) an amazing artist, and probably one of the best sculptors around. He sees the world through very different eyes than my own. His attention to detail is amazing! He sees so much beauty around him, especially in nature. For an example, this past winter, Josh, his mom, and I went to go see an artist showing their work in downtown Kirkland. I cant remember his/her name, but the sculptures were absolutely amazing! The detail, the creativity, and even the concept behind the art was great, very imaginative. (Uh, I didnt usually grasp the concepts though, surprising, right? They had to tell me.) Josh and his mom would just stare at each sculpture, oohing and aweing, pointing out all the coolness about it, and even return to the art for another long glance, making sure to take every detail in. I, on the other hand, look at the sculpture for about 30 seconds, maybe a minute, and Im done. Sure, the sculpture is good, REALLY good, but what more could I possibly see if I joined them and their long stares at the art? Ya, I saw the color and the detail, but what is grabbing their attention for so long?

Now, its true I have some ADD, and many would tell me to throw in a lil hyperness into the ADD formula, but at least Im controlled for the most part. My attention span isnt as long as most, so by the time that Josh and his mom got to the third sculpture, I had already started my second round of the gallery. Maybe Im just less appreciative about art, but then, thats not really the case. Its amazing, but I dont go on like a lot of art appreciating citizens.

Being married lets you experience the world through a whole new point a view, that is, the one belonging to your spouse. Before youre married, that special someone points out the things they like, sometimes you agree with their likes and other times you think their weird! But when youre married, you live with the person, sharing the same life/world around you, but they experience that same life/world in a whole other way than you do. And you share, very intimately, those experiences. In marriage, it goes much deeper than he sees blue as the coolest color in the world, and automatically thinks that if all food was blue that it would DEFINITELY taste better than it does now, because logically, blue always tastes better. Ha, thats how I think, actually. Although, even if green beans were blue, those still could taste gross. Their flavor cant be fixed. AND then she might think thats absolutely the stupidest thing to think of, and a waste of brain energy, and loves the world as it is, and cant get over how wonderful Brussels sprouts taste, and that turning them blue is absurd. Seeing each other differently is really amazing. It's good to have someone else's point of view, as long as it's good, hehehe. Believe it or not, seeing the world differently is very important, even when they do things that might be annoying.

For instance, I, like most girls nowadays, have to fight daily that Im ugly, my body is so imperfect, scared about gaining weight, bad hair days which equal ugly face days (although Josh cant understand that, cuz he says my face stays the same no matter what the hair does. But its all about how hair frames the face, right ladies?) I fight that Im a bad mommy (step mom for 7 months now to a 6yr old and 9yr old son) and that Im a bad friend and that I can't hear God anymore.

But my husband sees me as radiantly beautiful (thank God for his eyes/point of view), and tells me so every day. As my partner for the rest of my life, he encourages me constantly in all the areas that I believe Im failing. Through his eyes, I am his most cherished gift from God. Hmmm, through his eyes, hehow I see me. I guess that Im less appreciative about myself.

Why would anyone want to love me like this? WHY??? I suck, so much! Im so selfish, coldhearted at times, compassionLESS all the time. I really lack that ability to have sympathy for others. Why would Josh love me like this?

Marriage:
Marriage is basically learning how to love another...love AN* OTHER, fully, unconditionally, and with a servants heart. Its not about having to compromise daily to live a mediocre marriage/life, but its all about SERVING someone other than yourself, so that you can have a marriage that is full with love and life and full of trust and respect for someone else. A marriage that is Self-LESS. Its about learning how to completely empty yourself for an other, and youll never be closer to anyone than the one that you are married to, because you are tied to them lawfully, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. This doesnt happen before you are married to someone (Im sure you all know this, but sex is NOT commitment), even if youve been living with them for the last fifteen years! Why? Because it has NOT yet been made as a commitment to love someone else until death parts you from each other. Just because you live with someone or even if all you have is an engagement ring up until the very moment of saying I do, are you committed to someone or they committed to you.

So marriage is supposed to be a blessing from God (despite what hollywood would have you believe). It isnt supposed to be settling for the best that you can get, or that you probably deserve to get. Look! Through your eyes, you are LESS APPRECIATIVE OF YOURSELF. Your BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, MAGNIFICANT, INTELLEGENT, EMOTIONAL, CREATIVE, UNIQUE AND LOVELY design is worth a heavenly encore of applause and cheering. For yesterday and today, you are celebrated. Oh, and tomorrow. Our eyes are deceiving, but its so important to get to see ourselves through some elses eyes that love us, whether it be your spouse, parent, friend, child(ren), or relative, please dont look away from them.

The Main Point:

Through Someone Elses Eyes: A Point of View, Deserving Your Attention
So there I was, stuck in my epiphany cloud, thinking how grateful I am to share anothers...An- Others pare of eyes to see my world through, blessing me with a chance to experience things through anothers perspective, unlimited by my lack of appreciation of my self and of all the beauty and possibilities surrounding me. But heres the clincher. Yes my husband is a wonderful, kind, selfless, and loving guy, but for me to only rely on his EYES to see who I am might be kind of ridiculous, right? My husband is only human, after all, and can have bad days, altered perceptions (maybe Ill piss him off some day and hell actually say to me, I really dont like you right now), and may be selfish, and if I let those emotions determine my self worth, I could be in trouble, because those words/thoughts/emotions teemed up with my, already, messed up perceptions about myself, could utterly destroy me. But did you know that marriage is basically a horizontal illustration of how our vertical relationship is supposed to be with the One that created us, God (Curt Brunk)? Our relationship with God is supposed to be intimate, just like with our spouse. If you are in a healthy relationship with God, fully understanding who you are, who God is, and HOW PRECIOUS you are to Him, then nothing that anyone could tell you would destroy your understanding that you were created with purpose in mind, and that you arent a mistake. I dont really know anyone personally that has actually established that point (not all the time), but I know a few close ones. So its not that I solely rely on my husbands words full of love and affirmation, as GREAT as they are, but I MUST solely rely on what God says about me ( It's through His eyes that matter. Everyone else's sight will fail me at some point). And I believe that it is imperative that you know this too. Depending on where you are with your belief of what God is, despite what you have heard from the media, or even from people who claim to be Christian, and yet feel that its their right to tell you what a failure you are, how selfish you are, how unlovable you are...ect. I feel that there are some basic things that everyone should hear and know. You should know that you were created and designed specifically for plans that God has for you. You bring pleasure to God, for He created you. You werent made with a mistake, you arent a meaningless being living in a meaningless world. All of those "Christians" who have told you otherwise are wrong, and will be judged for that. Never has God commanded His people to go out and judge the world. He said go out and Love the world. Yes, believe it or not, way back in Jesus' day there were MANY church officials who studied all of the commandments, and enforced the rules of God, judging all around them. They were called the Pharisees. They knew all the rules, and yet even Jesus called them hypocrites. They failed to see Gods purpose. It was to love, not judge. Why? Because all where created by Him and for Him. You, no matter what youve done, or plan to do, or might do, whether Christian or atheist (although, wouldnt it be nice to have hope in something other than yourself?) hopefully, at some point you will hear the true and real message, unsoiled by selfish hypocrites, about Jesus' love for you and understand that you are here for purpose. If you still doubt, send me a message. kind of freeing, eh?

God bless you.